DREAMer living their dream

 

With my first year of college coming to an end, I am overwhelmed with a number of emotions regarding my personal growth and being away from my family. Getting into a four-year university had always been my biggest dream, so I made that my goal throughout my high school career. During middle school and high school I was in a program called AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination), and had a number of speakers come talk to us about their college and career experiences. However, speakers sugarcoated many of their experiences and would only say that college was the best time of their lives. Yes, I often heard that college was hard on an academic sense, but no one ever told me that college would be hard on a personal and emotional level.

No one ever told me that homesickness was going to mess with my well-being and that the imposter syndrome would take over and have me questioning why I was even here on this campus. No one ever told me about the loneliness I would feel from time to time. I now understand that people go through their own personal experiences in college and cope with events differently; some people get homesick, while some people don’t. 

When I thought about moving in, I often worried I wouldn’t get along with my three roommates and wouldn’t make any friends. Now at the end of the year, I couldn’t be more thankful for my roommates and the experiences I have gone through with them. When thinking of moving in, I would repress the idea of not living with my family anymore. When move-in day came, I remember bawling my eyes out with my family–it was a challenging moment, especially because as the days passed I would miss them more and I would often cry. Being an undeclared student also brought out feelings of being lost, but living on campus and having my hallmates as my support system has made my first year of college one that I will forever be thankful of.

I recognize my privilege of attaining higher education and now
that I am here I have faced multiple events that have made me question how I even got here in the first place. Being in college has also made me more aware of my undocumented status which was hard coming to terms with during my first quarter. However, I recognize that my DACA status has placed me at a greater advantage in that I am able to work and join internships.

During my second quarter I decided to branch out and applied to be part of Campus Representatives which was stressful because I knew I had to go through a group interview and then hopefully make it into the second round. I had never wanted to be part of a program so much which made me step out of my comfort zone and share my experiences throughout the application process. I have now been training to be a Campus Representative and am anxiously waiting for the evaluation test coming up this week where I will have to give a tour of the campus meeting all of the rubric criteria. With training, I have found another support system outside of my hall and has given me a sense of purpose. I am excited to share my experiences with other students through the Campus Reps program and give information about higher education.

The classes I took this year were interesting; my two favorite classes were my Intro to Criminology class and Humanities Core. I will soon be declaring into Criminology which I  am excited to go into as I plan on pursuing a career in the Juvenile Justice System working alongside a nonprofit organization. Through Humanities Core my perspective of moments in history have changed since there are many lenses to look at historical events from. I had a hard time in my Astronomy class—a GE requirement—but I learned that I shouldn’t psyche myself out by telling myself that can’t do well in a class because it is STEM. I’ve learned that I need to find potential in subjects or, in general, anything that is challenging to me.    

Moving forward, I’m excited to keep living this dream and privilege of being in college—something I felt was unattainable. I never imagined sitting down and doing homework in a hall full of dorms with a beautiful view of trees and sunshine through a glass window.  I’m excited to see my personal growth after my years in college and to spend my years in college speaking about the great resources UCI has to offer. My first year of college was full of tears, doubt, loneliness, and many other unwanted feelings, but I feel blissful and content with my experiences at UCI. College wasn’t meant to be easy, but what’s growth without a challenge?